Bad News and Good News About PTSD and Recovery

The bad news is that 91% of people will experience a PTSD-inducing traumatic event at least once in their life. PTSD, which stands for post-traumatic stress disorder, represents the highest level of trauma that can occur, where individuals suffer from lasting psychological effects. However, the good news is that 93% of those who experience such an event will recover within three months, and 96.7% will recover within six months. These statistics were derived from individuals affected by the 9/11 attacks.

Sage and Moat: A Lesson in Resilience

Sage and Moat are two individuals who have faced significant personal challenges but continue to demonstrate the power of resilience and positivity. While we all have some idea of the worst possible experiences we could face, some people go through events that most of us couldn’t imagine. The question is, how do people cope with such devastating events?

When asked what could be the worst thing to happen in life, many people in North America say becoming a quadriplegic. The best thing, believe it or not, is winning the lottery. Studies comparing the happiness of lottery winners and quadriplegics three years after their respective experiences reveal a surprising outcome. Contrary to what many would think, neither the quadriplegic nor the lottery winner were significantly happier. The key reason lies in the brain’s natural tendency to adjust. Our happiness tends to return to a set point after major events, whether they’re positive or negative.

Lottery winners often find themselves overwhelmed by the expectations of others, and what initially seemed like a blessing turns into a source of stress. On the other hand, quadriplegics who manage to regain even a small amount of movement experience immense joy. This shows how contrast, or the ability to find perspective, is a powerful tool in maintaining happiness.

The Role of Beliefs and Suffering

Our beliefs about how life should be, and our resistance to those beliefs when life doesn’t match our expectations, is what creates suffering. For example, when someone close to us passes away, or when we face an illness, the natural human tendency is to believe that these things “shouldn’t have happened.” But the reality is that life is full of unexpected challenges, and suffering often arises when we resist these facts.

Moat’s Story: Embracing Resilience and Stress Management

Moat, a former engineer, experienced one of the most traumatic events anyone could endure: the sudden loss of close family members. His sister-in-law died unexpectedly, followed by his brother and mother. Despite the immense pain and grief, Moat’s experience highlights how it’s possible to navigate through stress and trauma without succumbing to them.

Moat’s story teaches us that stress is not an inevitable part of life. Although stressors are unavoidable, how we deal with them is what ultimately determines their impact on our lives. Stress, when managed effectively, can be a motivator, but unchecked stress can break us down. Moat introduced a model of stress management, which consists of understanding the three accountabilities—learn, limit, and listen—and the four sources of stress—trauma, obsession, noise, and nuisances.

Stress: Not Always What It Seems

Stress, as Moat explains, is not just the external challenges we face, but the way we respond to them. There is a mathematical equation for stress: it’s the external stressor divided by our ability to cope with it. When we grow our coping skills, we increase our ability to deal with life’s challenges without being overwhelmed by them.

However, stress does not just come from external sources. Internal factors, such as our own beliefs and perceptions, can be just as damaging. Moat teaches us that our thoughts, particularly those related to self-doubt or worry, contribute to stress, and these can be managed through techniques like limiting negativity and focusing on what we can control.

The Three Accountabilities for Dealing with Stress

1. Learn: Building the skills and resources to better handle life’s challenges.
2. Limit: Minimizing the stressors we expose ourselves to. Whether it’s setting boundaries with people or cutting back on activities that drain us, this step is crucial for reducing overall stress.
3. Listen: Paying attention to how stress manifests in our bodies, minds, and emotions. Addressing stress in a mindful and compassionate way helps prevent it from spiraling out of control.

The Four Sources of Stress: T.O.N.

• T: Trauma – Major stressors that are outside our control, such as accidents or the death of a loved one.
• O: Obsession – The stress that comes from obsessive thinking or beliefs that we cannot let go of.
• N: Noise – Minor stressors that nag at us throughout the day but don’t cause significant harm on their own.
• Nuisances: Things that are frustrating but not life-threatening, such as a bad commute or an annoying neighbor.

Breaking Points: Trauma, Burnout, and Anticipation of Threat

When we face excessive stress, our ability to cope can break down in three ways: trauma, burnout, or the anticipation of a threat. Trauma is a massive event that overwhelms our coping ability, while burnout results from the accumulation of smaller stressors over time. Anticipating a threat—such as worrying about the future or what could go wrong—can also cause stress, even if no immediate danger is present.

The Role of Stress in Performance

Interestingly, some stress can be beneficial, particularly in high-stakes situations, as it can drive us to perform at our best. However, stress needs to be within context. If stress is chronic or out of context—such as worrying about things we can’t control—it becomes detrimental to our well-being.

Dealing with Loss and Guilt

Guilt is one of the most common emotions people experience when dealing with loss or difficult relationships. Moat emphasizes that guilt is not a productive emotion. We can’t change the past, but we can choose how we respond to it moving forward. If we feel guilty for past actions, we should learn from them and make amends where possible. But ultimately, guilt should not define us.

In conclusion, while stress and trauma are inevitable parts of life, how we respond to them determines our well-being. Embracing resilience, learning coping strategies, and focusing on the present moment can help us recover from even the most challenging experiences.